Without
by Sneakernet
Summary: Songfic. Remus is pining. Spoilers. Flames are for fireplaces! hehe. R&R!


Disclaimer- I dont own HP, or Blue On Black by Kenny Wyne Shepard  
  
SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS FOR OOTP!  
  
Author's note- I spent FOREVER looking for the lyrics of this song after I heard it in the car with my sister, lol  
  
And I finally found it! ^_^ Whee!  
  
//Night falls, I´m alone  
  
Skin chilled to the bone  
  
You turned and you ran  
  
Slipped right from my hands//  
  
Remus lay in bed that night, tossing and turning. Tears streaming down his cheeks, everything around him,  
  
every shadow reminding him of the events of the day before. The day he lost everything he had left. The day he lost   
  
Sirius. He just couldn't take it anymore. He sat up and buried his head in his hands, inwardly screaming. Everything, everyone  
  
around him was pushing in on him, he couldn't breathe. He stood up, his shoulders heaving, his legs barely supporting him, and walked  
  
to the bathroom. He caught sight of himself in the mirror and quickly turned away. He opened a cabinet over the toilet and took out  
  
some tylenol. He shoved the contents down his throat, and walked back into his bedroom. Sirius's old bedroom. Grief overcame him  
  
completly, and he fell to the floor, not caring about pain, not caring about the silence, and caring about anything anymore. He closed  
  
his eyes and the nightmare that haunted him every time his mind was blank played in his head. He saw Sirius rush past Kingsley  
  
to Bellatrix..... He was laughing.... then he started to fall.......  
  
  
  
//Blue on Black  
  
Tears on a river  
  
Push on shove  
  
Don´t mean much  
  
Joker in jack  
  
Match on a fire  
  
Cold on ice  
  
A dead man´s touch  
  
Whisper on a scream  
  
Doesn´t mean a thing  
  
Won´t bring you back  
  
Blue on Black//  
  
  
  
Remus woke with a jerk. He saw white all around him and looked up, his heart racing, hoping he was dead. But his heart went crashing down  
  
as he saw Mrs. Weasley and Tonks rush over to him. "Dear, are you alright?" Molly leaned over him. He wanted to scream. He wanted to yell.  
  
He wanted to stand on top of a mountain and let all his fury out. He glared at her but nodded his head. He tried to say "Fine." but the words  
  
wouldn't come out. Tonks was standing on the other side of the bed, looking concerned. She opened her mouth as if to say something,  
  
but a blonde witch bustled over and shooed Molly off. Tonks reached down and kissed Remus on the cheek, then followed Molly. Remus didn't care.  
  
He didnt care if all the finest women in the world kissed him, he just wanted Sirius. He caught sight of the design embroidered on the witch's robe  
  
and realized he was in St. Mungo's. Once again the world seemed trying to drown him. The healer witch leaned over him and whispered, "Here, take this,  
  
it'll make you well again," But Remus clamped his mouth as the witch tried to spoon lime-colored medicine into his mouth. he didnt wan't to get well.  
  
he wanted Sirius.  
  
//Blind, now I see  
  
Truth, lies, and in between  
  
Wrong can´t be undone  
  
Slipped from the tip of your tongue//  
  
Once again, the nighmares plauged Remus. He watched his world come crashing down over and over. He watched Sirius fall through the veil...  
  
He was jerked awake by someone oking him. He leapt up. "Sirius?" He asked, wildy looking around. He heard the soft, crooning voice of  
  
the Healer again, the last voice on earth he wanted to hear. He looked up at her, throwing her a hateful look. "You have a visitor, Mr. Lupin," she said,  
  
and pushed a boy with untidy black hair and glasses toward him. Harry. "Uh, hi, Professor," Remus sighed. The last thing he wanted was a visitor, least  
  
of all Harry. But then he remembered. Hadn't Harry been right there beside him as they watched Sirius fall through the veil? Hadn't he had to use every  
  
last ounce of strength to keep Harry from running after Sirius? Mabey there was someone that could understand part of the pain that was coursing through  
  
him. Someone, something left to live for. "Hi, Harry," Remus sat up and smiled his first smile in days.  
  
//Blue on Black  
  
Tears on a river  
  
Push on shove  
  
Don´t mean much  
  
Joker in jack  
  
Match on a fire  
  
Cold on ice  
  
A dead man´s touch  
  
Whisper on a scream  
  
Doesn´t mean a thing  
  
Won´t bring you back  
  
Blue on Black//  
  
  
  
a/n- Well, that's it.... Don't really like the way it ended, but oh well. R&R! Flames are for the fireplace!  
  
-Sneakernet 


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